


one last time

by centrykleary



Category: Portrait de la jeune fille en feu | Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centrykleary/pseuds/centrykleary
Summary: Inspired by Dodie Clark's Demo "one last time, please"
Relationships: Héloïse/Marianne (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)
Kudos: 24





	one last time

Marianne’s eyes were filled with tears that would begin rolling down her face if she were to look away from Héloïse. Her mouth slightly drops, breathing heavily as the orchestra continues playing dramatically, filling every inch of space in the venue with the piece Marianne had played for her lover. She notices Héloïse’s body heaving sporadically, her face slightly shining through the bits of light her seat captured. Marianne could vividly remember the moment the two shared such an intimate moment on the harpsichord, recalling how she slipped her hands underneath the blanket, playing the melody to a Vivaldi song. She remembers Héloïse sliding next to her on the bench, her face lightening up from the astonishment of seeing Marianne effortlessly play. Marianne could remember their bodies touching ever so slightly; she began wrapping her own arms around herself to prevent herself from collapsing into a sob. Around what Marianne considers to be the most intense part of the song, she notices Héloïse smiling, and that strains Marianne’s heart. 

She recalls the first time Héloïse had smiled at her after Marianne told the truth about herself. Marianne herself begins smiling, acknowledging the fact that Héloïse still manages to remember their shared experiences together and before she knew it, the audience began clapping. The noise of Vivaldi’s Summer has been replaced by applause yet the memory of their moment at the harpsichord still remains in Marianne’s mind. As the orchestra begins their next piece, Marianne takes one final look at her lover and breathes in deeply. With a pain striking through her chest, she turns away and focuses her attention on the orchestra. Out of her peripheral vision through the rest of the performance, Héloïse never looked once.

-

Squeezing through the swarm of people exiting the orchestra building, Marianne makes an effort to swiftly exit the area before she makes a decision that will only hurt rather than feel good. Seeing Héloïse ached Marianne’s heart, producing a pain so powerful that it knocked all the wind out of Marianne’s lungs. A long lost lover that Marianne could never have for her own, she couldn’t possibly stand to lose Héloïse again. The painter leans against the exterior of the building, pushing the palms of her hands into her eyes to prevent a stream of tears from flowing down her face. Her corset only made the feeling in her chest tighter, Marianne’s throat felt constricted and eventually uncovered her eyes. Marianne stands tall, wiping her face against the sleeve of her dress and turns on her heel. Turning around, she notices Héloïse’s back facing her direction. On the tip of Marianne’s tongue was her lover’s name, her mind being occupied with Héloïse over and over again. Marianne wanted to throw herself at Héloïse, she desperately wanted to grasp and hold her lover one more time. Marianne wanted to take in the scent of Héloïse, she wanted to kiss her so passionately and to hold her in her arms forever. Unconsciously, Marianne’s hand began lifting towards Héloïse’s shoulder and a tall male figure snapped Marianne back to reality. 

A glistening band of silver wraps around the male’s finger, that’s the first thing Marianne notices. The male’s arm swings around Héloïse’s waist and he plants a kiss on her cheek. Marianne’s arm gently lowers, her arm swinging back down as if it were brought down by an aggressive force. Her vision begins tunneling, the only sight she can see is Héloïse’s side profile as she speaks to her husband. Marianne could only envision the night at the banquet where Héloïse’s dress had caught on fire, she had never lost that powerful gaze throughout the time the two spent apart. She raises her hand to her chest, gripping her dress tightly as Marianne wearily smiles at the last sight of Héloïse she could capture. Before she knew it, Héloïse was cloaked by the darkness of night and once again, away from Marianne. 

“Mademoiselle, I need you to move please.”

Marianne jumps back a bit, noticing the man with a broom in his hand. She nods accordingly and begins walking in the opposite direction of Héloïse. She couldn’t go home quite yet, there was something that had to be done. 

-

Marianne’s heels clicked along the wooden planks of her art studio, the sound echoing throughout the empty room. She glances over at the empty desks of her students, remembering the teenage girl that had brought the painting of Héloïse out and continues walking towards her painting. She stops before the wide canvas, shakily breathing as she admires the portrait of Héloïse. Marianne reaches her hand out, brushing the pads of her fingers gently against the painted canvas, taking in each little detail she could. The little bumps that she felt, the streaks that she created, and most importantly, the colors Marianne used to paint Héloïse. Her hand drags along the canvas a bit more as she walks over to the small storage room nearby. Marianne carefully takes out a wide enough frame for the canvas to fit in and begins transferring the canvas inside the frame. Gently, Marianne lifts the portrait and hangs her painting on the center of the wall where it would be the first thing she would see every day. She steps away after hanging the photo and takes in her surroundings. A tear caress Marianne’s cheek as she smiles meekly. She had been blessed with Héloïse’s presence tonight and that’s all Marianne could ever ask for.

Marianne exits the studio room and turns around one last time to examine the painting. She lets out a breath and shuts the door behind her gently. Perhaps one day, Marianne and Héloïse will meet again just for a moment, they’ll bid farewell to one another, they’ll spend another night with each other. One last time is what Marianne could ever wish for, but it wouldn’t be possible. Until then, all Marianne will do is remember.


End file.
